On not Talking to a Close Friend (2)

You may tell your close friend that your partner has stopped talking to you (and perhaps is “ghosting” you), and expect sympathy and support, but you cannot tell your partner that your close friend has stopped talking to you, because it would sound absurd.

The verb “ghosting” is used only for romantic relationships, not friendships, since friends are not supposed to stop talking to one another. They may criticize you but they do not reject you. Camaraderie and loyalty leave no room for that. (Neither can a close friend harm, abandon, or take advantage of another friend.) If you tell your partner, or anybody for that matter, who betrayed you, they will be speechless since a friend’s rejection does not make sense. That is why you cannot share with anybody your disappointment and pain over a friend’s silence. Since it defies comprehension, you keep it to yourself – or you start a blog (like this one, where I converse with my friend, Pantelis Polychronidis) to ensure that you will keep talking to your friend regardless of whether he is talking to you.

October 24, 2014

“Οι φίλοι” (1995) – Χάρις Αλεξίου

Τους φίλους τους διαλέγουμε

γι’ αυτό δεν τους παιδεύουμε

τα μυστικά μας λέμε

κι εμείς ερωτευτήκαμε

αλλά δε τρελαθήκαμε

τους φίλους δεν τους καίμε

κι εμείς ερωτευτήκαμε

αλλά δε σκοτωθήκαμε

τους φίλους μας δεν καίμε.




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